"Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus." ~Philippians 3:12
It's odd. The times that I felt closest to God directly coincides with moments in my life where I felt alone. I could feel God sitting next to me, listening intently as I prayed, patting me gently as I cried, and holding my quivering hand as I attempted to brave uncharted territory. In each instance I was physically alone, miles away from loved ones and friends. I miss resting in the paradox - alone yet surrounded by everything, all that is Love. I miss knowing, experiencing each second in Grace. Occasionally, I have the feeling of being "caught up" as Paul while in the ease of prayer but it's fleeting. How do I attain the perpetual experience of The Everlasting? I've tried to reach this elusive center, spiritual equilibrium at home and at church. But I can't seem to touch Heaven's cloud - just an inch within my grasp. If only I could borrow the ladder from Jacob's dream...
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