Sunday, June 19, 2011

Third Heaven


"Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus."  ~Philippians 3:12

 It's odd.  The times that I felt closest to God directly coincides with moments in my life where I felt alone.  I could feel God sitting next to me, listening intently as I prayed, patting me gently as I cried, and holding my quivering hand as I attempted to brave uncharted territory.  In each instance I was physically alone, miles away from loved ones and friends.  I miss resting in the paradox - alone yet surrounded by everything, all that is Love.  I miss knowing, experiencing each second in Grace.  Occasionally, I have the feeling of being "caught up" as Paul while in the ease of prayer but it's fleeting.  How do I attain the perpetual experience of The Everlasting?  I've tried to reach this elusive center, spiritual equilibrium at home and at church.  But I can't seem to touch Heaven's cloud - just an inch within my grasp.  If only I could borrow the ladder from Jacob's dream...